技巧03 如何设计高潮-高一英语读后续写基础技巧与整体演练

高一英语读后续写基础技巧与整体演练

技巧03 如何设计高潮

故事中的高潮(climax)是指故事达到最紧张或扣人心弦的那一部分。高潮有时候是剧情中的“危机”点。有时候，它只是达到了关键时刻或者转折点，发生了一些事情，或者主角必须做出决定，从而导致一个结果或其他。 我们在分析叙事类故事或者小说故事的时候常常用下面的图表来表示故事情节。

故事高潮设计策略

1．增加外部冲突

增加外部冲突是一种明显有效的可以达到故事高潮的方式。

(1)角色之间的冲突

【例如】On the fourth or fifth night，we had trouble finding a hotel with a vacancy.After driving in vain for some time，Mom suddenly got a great idea：Why didn’t we find a house with a likely-looking backyard and ask if we could set up a tent there? David and I became nervous.

【分析】开车找旅馆——徒劳无功——母亲建议在他人后院搭帐篷——David和“我”倍感紧张，心有不悦(母子的观点不一)

(2)角色与环境之间的冲突

【例如】Then Mac heard quick and loud breathing behind him...he saw instantly that it wasn’t a dog at all，but a wolf，quickly catching up with him.Mac’s heart jumped...he fired the spray at the wolf.A bright red cloud enveloped the animal，and to Mac’s relief，it fell back，shaking its head.But a minute later...Then it...，tearing open his tent bag.He fired at the wolf a second time，and again，it fell back...

    【分析】Mac骑车独行，路遇恶狼，与之搏斗，险象环生。[人(角色)——狼(环境)大战]

(3)角色与时间的冲突

【例如】The car abruptly stopped in front of him.“Get into the car.” Paul shouted at Mac.Mac jumped off the bike and slid into the car without delay as the wolf was just two steps away and was about to tear Mac into pieces.What a narrow escape!

    【分析】汽车突停面前——急喊上车——Mac上车避险——恶狼近在咫尺(此情此景，刻不容缓)

2．放大内心冲突

放大内心冲突(文中角色的内心斗争)也有助于建立一个高度紧张和不确定的时刻。现在我们再来看高考读后续写中的内心冲突是如何体现的。

    【例如】(原文见2016·浙江10月)But no more helicopters came and it was getting dark again.Jane was so tired，hungry，and extremely frightened.She thought to herself，“If only I had not quarrelled with Tom.Where is Tom? He must have made the emergency call.What I need is enough courage.If I continue my spirits tomorrow，I will be likely to guide the helicopter.” Lying beside the stream，she fell asleep very soon.Suddenly，she heard the shouts of tigers，which made her scared to death.After she held her breath for a few minutes，everything was quiet again.In the terrible darkness，she slept again.

【分析】夫妇争吵——妻子独自行走——荒野走散，夜色渐黑——独处森林——阴森恐怖——后悔莫及(内心冲突的刻画)——内心独白(往昔对比＋虚拟语气的使用＋旁白描写是常见技巧之一)

1．阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。

I joined a summer camp just a few weeks ago. Our first day was full of getting-to-know-each-other games to help us learn our way around the campground. Our second day was very hot, so a teacher took us to the best place for cooling down. “Woo-hoo!” the teacher shouted as he led the way into the shallow part of the lake. We all ran after him like ducklings and happily splashed(拍水) around, except for one kid named Max, who sat on the dock(码头) looking sad.

Here’s the surprising thing about that. The day before, when we took tests to see what level swimmers we were in the pool, Max turned out to be the best swimmer. So why was he just sitting? I swam over and said, “Why aren’t you in the water? We found out yesterday that you’re a bit like a half fish.”

“OK, I’ll tell you, but it’s a little embarrassing(尴尬的),” he said. “Even though I’m kind of a half fish, I’m also afraid of real fish-and of anything else that might be swimming in the dirty water.” “Don’t be embarrassed,” I said. “We’re all afraid of something. I’m totally scared of snakes and the dark, um, avocados(牛油果).”

“Avocados?” Max smiled.

“I know it sounds strange,” I said. “But they’re just so slimy(黏)!”

“Look out!” Max joked. “The big avocado monster(怪物) is coming to slime you.” “You look out!” I replied. “A giant fish monster is heading your way.”

Soon, we were both laughing. That broke the ice enough for me to say, “You might feel better if you take a look at what’s actually under the water.”

I grabbed two pairs of goggles(护目镜) from a bin and put one pair on. “I’ll go first,” I said, then went under for a few seconds before coming up. “Nothing scary,” I reported.

Max hesitated, then put on the other pair, took a deep breath, and went under the water for about three seconds.

注意：1. 续写词数应为150左右;

2. 请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。

“Any lake monsters? “I asked when he appeared from the water.

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In my experience, laughing a little about the thing that scares you can make it easier to talk about it.

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2．阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。

In the village where Charles lived, high in the French Alps, December usually brought garlands scented with pine. Each Sunday, villagers would walk down decorated streets to the old stone Wishing House. There, for the four weeks before New Year, they would light candles in the house and share their stories and pray for the next new year together. Charles loved the glow of the candles.

But this year, World War Ⅱ changed everything. Charles’s father and brother went to do their military service. Families needed ration coupons for things like butter and sugar. Because candles were costly and hard to find, the house would not have any candles this year. Charles was thinking about all of this as he stepped slowly out of bed one morning. He put on his warmest clothes and headed out to do his chores.

He opened the big barn door, sunbeams streaming into the barn. He looked up to the loft where his treasure box hid. The box held fishing line, a dried snakeskin, a whistle and his birthday candles. Each year on his birthday, one new candle would appear on his cake. After making a wish, he’d quickly blow out the candles, clean them off, and carefully put them into the box for next year.

When his chores were done, Charles climbed the ladder and opened his treasure box. He counted 10 candles. The cool wax with already melted edges gave him an idea. Charles wrapped the candles in his handkerchief and put them carefully into his pocket. He hurried down the ladder and ran to the house.

“Mama! Grandpa! I know how we can have candles for the Wishing House!” he cried as he threw open the door.

“How?” his mother asked.

“I could collect people’s used candles and make new ones. Maybe we could melt them down.”

“It’s a wonderful idea,” said grandpa, “I’ll help you.”

注意：

1. 续写词数应为150 左右；

2. 请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。

Charles and his grandpa visited every house and shop in the village.

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In the Wishing House were the four candles Charles had made.

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3．阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。

Brutus had everything in the world: good food, good toys, and good clothes. But the problem was that he had to share them all with his three other brothers, Mack, Jack and Robert.

Brutus had to share his favorite cookie box with Mack, who always finished the whole box before Brutus could take a bite. He also had to share his toys with his youngest brother Jack, who always ended up breaking them. Brutus also had the unfortunate privilege of being given his older brother Robert’s hand-me-downs of old clothes.

Brutus hated sharing and wished he had nobody to share his belongings with. “Why can’t I be the only child?” Brutus sighed as he stared at the stars. “I wish I had no stupid brothers,” Brutus demanded at one sparkling star.

To his surprise, the star suddenly twinkled and fell towards his direction. The star inched closer and closer to his bedroom window. He screamed and tried to wake his brothers up but it was too late. The star crashed inside their room, followed by an ear-splitting explosion.

The next day, Brutus woke up with a bad headache. He rushed to his brothers’ beds to ask them if they were okay but was quickly shocked to see that their beds had been empty. They were nowhere to be found.

Brutus had the fortune of spending the whole morning playing with his toys. He put on his brother’s brand new clothes and sneakers which fit him perfectly. As he was checking himself in the mirror, he suddenly realized that his wish had come true. His brothers were gone and he had the whole world to himself.

“I can get used to this,” he said to himself happily

注意：

1. 续写词数应为150左右；

2. 请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。

When he felt hungry, his mother came back with a full box of cookies.

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In this way, he spent five days as an only child before he felt the empty house was too quiet.

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4．阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。

It was a Saturday afternoon.I was having lunch when Dad told me to get ready. I became unhappy.I don’t like Saturdays! Even though it’ s a holiday for most children,it is not for me because I need to go to football club.

Many kids love sports, but I am not one of them.I prefer to stay at home and read. I don’t like running. so in a team am a bad player. The coach is tired of me and my teammates sometimes think I’ m useless.

I have no idea how to play football.Usually ,after practice my teammates would ask me to stay out of the game and I would just nod.

Last Thursday,the coach told us that we would be competing with some other team in a month and many people would come to see the game. Our opponents(对手)were the last winner and I froze(呆住)at the thought of the embarrassment()I would face if the team lost because of me.

So I decided to practice hard for the match and I went to practice every single day.

After one month, when the game day came my teammates were reluctant(不愿意的)to take me in the team,and I also wished to stay away from the ground as well. But as luck would have it they were short of one player and had no choice but to take me in the team.

Our team was named the Big Blues.There was a great cheer on our arrival in the field.I got very nervous.The game started and within two minutes, I got a blue card. By the time I was allowed back the score was two goals for each team and the next goal would decide the winning team.

注意:1续写词数应为150左右;

2.请按如下格式在相应位置作答。

When the ball came towards me, I froze.

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All my teammates ran towards me to lift me in the air.

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5．阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。

“Wake up, Mom!” I felt a little hand on my face and reluctantly opened my eyes. There was my son, ready to start the day. I also heard my babies awake in the next room. Ready or not, the day had begun!

I loved being home with my little ones, but I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders. My husband and I had just bought a house, and some unexpected expenses made our budget tighter than it had ever been. I was weary of spending more pennies. We weren’t foolish with our money. We worked hard. We were doing all the right things, but we had had one financial disappointment after another.

I was going to pick up my kids’ photo portraits from the studio at the local mall. Despite our small budget, it was important to me to have pictures of my children as they were growing up. The previous week, I had found a coupon (优惠券) and used some change from the car to buy a $7.99 portrait package, and today was the day I was to pick up the portraits. Since we were going to the mall, I decided to make it an outing and packed some sandwiches for us to eat at the food court. What’s more, there are many ride-on toy cars in the mall’s food court for fun and for free.

After breakfast, we went off. After we parked, we walked into the portrait studio at the mall, and I approached the counter. The young woman smiled.

“May I help you?”

“Yes, I’m here to pick up our photos.”

The woman asked my name and opened her drawer. “Ah, yes, here they are. Aren’t they just so adorable?” She took out the photos, and the smiling faces of my kids warmed my heart.

“Yes, they are great. Thank you,” I said.

She put the photos into an envelope. Then she spread out additional photos of my kids that I hadn’t ordered. I knew what that meant. The upsell pitch (推销) was coming.

“Would you like to purchase these extra portraits? They are only fifteen dollars apiece!” she smiled sweetly.

注意：

1. 续写词数应为150左右；

2. 请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。

My heart turned cold. “I don’t have fifteen dollars.”

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As we were having our lunch, the young woman came up and pressed something into my hand.

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参考答案

1.【参考范文】

    “Any lake monsters?” I asked when he appeared from the water. He laughed and pointed at some harmless little fish. “Only small fish.” Max decided to wait it out on the dock that day, but he was actually swimming in the lake before the end of the camp! Seeing him swimming happily in the lake, I was relieved and relaxed. In the meantime, I was lost in my thought: Nearly everyone I’ve met is afraid of something and how to get over it means a lot.

In my experience, laughing a little about the thing that scares you can make it easier to talk about it. And then taking baby steps to learn more about the thing for instance, looking into dirty water with goggles on can actually be a big help in overcoming the fear. The problem is that most people hold their fears closely, because it’s part of who they are. If you aren’t ready to face your fear, you probably won’t overcome your fear. If you’re ready to move forward, facing your fear bravely is the first step to take.

【写作指导】本文以人物为线索展开，讲述了作者几周前参加了一个夏令营，第二天由于天气炎热，老师带大家去玩水降温，作者发现游泳水平最好的Max却悲伤地坐在码头上，作者询问Max才得知他害怕水里的一些鱼和其他一些小生物，作者不断鼓励Max，并率先跳下水告诉他没什么可怕的，Max犹豫了一下也潜入水中。

1.段落续写：

①由第一段首句内容“‘湖里有怪物吗？’他从水里出来时我问他”可知，第一段可描写Max的回答以及作者看到Max在水里游泳的感悟。

②由第二段首句内容“根据我的经验，对让你害怕的事情笑一笑可以让你更容易谈论它。”可知，第二段可描写作者对克服恐惧的感悟，勇敢面对恐惧是第一步。

2.续写线索：

Max决定坐在码头等——感到轻松——陷入沉思——感悟——勇敢面对是克服恐惧的第一步

3.词汇激活

行为类

①出现：appear/turn up

②陷入沉思：be lost in one’s thought/fall into thought

③克服：overcome/get over

情绪类

①快乐：happily/delightedly

②放松的：relieved/eased

【典型句式】

[高分句型1]. In my experience, laughing a little about the thing that scares you can make it easier to talk about it. （由关系代词that引导的定语从句）

[高分句型2]. The problem is that most people hold their fears closely, because it’s part of who they are. （由that引导的表语从句、because引导的原因状语从句和who引导的宾语从句）

[高分句型3]. If you aren’t ready to face your fear, you probably won’t overcome your fear.（由if引导的条件状语从句）

2.【参考范文】

Charles and his grandpa visited every house and shop in the village. Chilly wind and snow pushed against them at every turn, but Charles’s heart was consumed with happiness and warmth, imagining the new candles he could make. “Madam? Sir? Could you spare a few old candles for the New Year?” said Charles, holding out a basket from door to door. When the last door had closed, they headed home with a wide variety of candles of different colours and size. Looking at the good harvest, Charles breathed a sigh of relief. Without delay, he and his grandpa set to work, dropping the villagers’ candles together with all his own treasured ones into a melting pot.

In the Wishing House were the four candles Charles had made. They were small, and they were not the regular New Year candles. Each was a blend of different colours, glowing in the house. Charles smiled, knowing his friends would see it and believe New Year was coming after all. As it turned out, the villagers who went to the house and witnessed the candles cheered up, surprised and teary-eyed. “The candles are beautiful, aren’t they, Grandpa?” Charles whispered. “Beautiful!” grandpa nodded. Sometimes, difficulties and adversity are unavoidable, however, we can bring sunshine and hope with a warm heart. Maybe, this is what New Year is all about.

【写作指导】本文以人物为线索展开，讲述了查尔斯的父亲和哥哥去服兵役了。家庭需要黄油和糖等食品的定量配给券。因为蜡烛很贵，而且很难找到，所以今年家里不会有蜡烛。于是他提议收集人们用过的蜡烛，制作新的。最终在爷爷的帮助下，查尔斯制作并点亮了蜡烛。

1.段落续写：

①由第一段首句内容“查尔斯和他的爷爷参观了村里的每家每户。”可知，第一段可描写他们收集蜡烛的经过。

②由第二段首句内容“许愿屋里放着查尔斯做的四支蜡烛。”可知，第二段可描写村民看到点燃蜡烛之后的反应和感悟。

2.续写线索：参观——收集蜡烛——制作蜡烛——点亮蜡烛——感悟

3.词汇激活

行为类

开始：set to /start to

制作：make/produce

松了口气：breathe a sigh of relief / let out a (long) sigh of relief

情绪类

快乐：happiness /joy

无法避免：unavoidable / inevitable

【典型句式】

[高分句型1] Without delay, he and his grandpa set to work, dropping the villagers’ candles together with all his own treasured ones into a melting pot. (运用了现在分词作状语)

[高分句型2] As it turned out, the villagers who went to the house and witnessed the candles cheered up, surprised and teary-eyed. (运用了who引导定语从句)

3.【参考范文】

When he felt hungry, his mother came back with a full box of cookies. “They’re all for you, my dear son,” said Mom with a caring smile. Mom told him that his brothers had gone to visit his grandparents with his dad. Thinking that he could enjoy all the cookies alone, Brutus was wild with joy. With mouth watering, Brutus wolfed down four cookies before he felt too full to have more. Every day Brutus enjoyed playing toys, having delicious food and wearing new clothes without his brothers bothering.

In this way, he spent five days as an only child before he felt the empty house was too quiet. He needed someone to play with. Although he was well dressed, food didn’t taste good with nobody to share with. He began to miss his brothers. He realized their company was what he needed most. “I wish I wouldn’t be the only child any longer,”he thought, falling asleep. The next morning, a pillow hit Brutus on the head, waking him up. To his great delight, Brutus saw his brothers back! He sat up immediately to hug them and would never wish to separate from them!

【写作指导】文章以人物为线索展开，讲述Brutus有好吃的，好玩的，穿的也好，但这一切都不得和其他三个兄弟分享。他厌倦这样的生活，一天晚上对着星星许愿，希望自己是家里唯一的孩子。第二天起床后他发现其他三个兄弟都不见了踪影，感觉自己的愿望实现了，整个早上享受着不用和他人分享的生活。

1.段落续写

①根据第一段首句“当他感到饥饿时，他的母亲带着一整盒饼干回来了”可知，下文可描写妈妈告诉Brutus其他兄弟的去向，以及他独自享受美食、玩具和衣物的场景。

②根据第二段首句“就这样，他作为独生子女度过了五天，才觉得空房子太安静了”可知，下文可描写他开始想念兄弟们，明白了有他们的陪伴他才会快乐。

2.续写线索：妈妈回家——独自享用一切——五天后感觉无聊——意识到兄弟的陪伴很重要——兄弟们回来

3.词汇激活

行为类

①拜访：visit/pay a visit to/call on sb./drop in on sb

②看见：see/spot

③狼吞虎咽：wolf/take big bits

情绪类

①关爱的：caring/considerate

②快乐：joy/merriness

【典型句式】

[高分句型1] Thinking that he could enjoy all the cookies alone, Brutus was wild with joy. （运用了现在分词作状语，和that引导的宾语从句）

[高分句型2]Although he was well dressed, food didn’t taste good with nobody to share with. （运用了although引导的让步状语从句）

4.【参考范文】

When the ball came towards me, I froze. My teammates were very tired and seemed worried.The opponents rushed towards me. Without thinking anymore, I found courage, and with all my might, I kicked the ball. The opponents didn’t think highly of me, so they didn’t think that I would be able to kick the ball so powerfully. As I kicked, the goalkeeper jumped towards the ball.

As the ball hit the back of the net,I heard a big cheer. The Big Blues won the match! All my teammates ran towards me to lift me in the air Since that day, I have gained some confidence and started to play better My coach and teammates are also happy with me and they try to improve my skills every time I play. Now I have realized that I always liked this sport, but my problem with it had something to do with the lack of encouragement I got. Now I can build on my confidence and I’ve realized I can also play this sport very well.

【写作指导】本文以人物为线索展开，讲述了作者本不喜欢足球运动，但是父亲却要自己去足球俱乐部，所以队员和教练都疏远自己，但是在一次重要比赛中，作者帮助球队进了关键的一球，队员和教练对作者赞赏有加，增加了作者的信心，作者喜欢上了运动。

1.段落续写：

①由第一段首句内容“当球向我飞来时，我愣住了。”可知，第一段可描写作者如何帮助球队进了制胜的一球。

②由第二段首句内容“当球击中球网背面时，我听到一阵热烈的欢呼。”可知，第二段可描写作者获得了队员和教练的赞扬，以及作者的感悟。

2. 续写线索：不喜欢运动—受到教练和队员的不喜—有比赛—踢进制胜一球—受到表扬—感悟

3. 词汇激活

行为类

①看起来：seem/look like/appear

②想都没想：without thinking anymore/without further thought/without second thought

③获得：gain/obtain/achieve

④提高：improve/get better/enhance

情绪类

①担心的：worried/anxious/apprehensive

②快乐：happy/contented/pleased

【典型句式】

[高分句型1]The opponents didn’t think highly of me, so they didn’t think that I would be able to kick the ball so powerfully.（that引导的宾语从句）

[高分句型2]Now I have realized that I always liked this sport, but my problem with it had something to do with the lack of encouragement I got.（that引导的宾语从句，以及省略that的定语从句）

5.【参考范文】

My heart turned cold. “I don’t have fifteen dollars.” I took the photo envelope and walked away, with my cheeks red after my reply. Next, we stopped at the ride-on toy cars in the mall’s food court. There weren’t any other kids there. My kids climbed on them enjoying themselves very much. After a while, we were tired so we unwrapped our lunches that I had brought from home. Although the mall’s food court was near, I didn’t have extra money. It was early for lunch, but we were hungry.

As we were hawing our lunch, the young woman came up and pressed something into my hand. She said, “Here. Take your family out for ice cream after lunch.” I was surprised. I managed to say “thank you” as she turned and walked away. Then I looked down at what she had given me. The bills totaled fifteen dollars. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I quietly finished my sandwich. The doubts in my heart melted away and my faith was renewed. Kindness can change someone’s dark moment into a bright one.

【写作指导】本文以人物为线索展开，讲述了作者和丈夫刚买了一套房子，一些意料之外的开支使他们的预算比以往任何时候都要紧张，作者带孩子们去当地商场的摄影棚里拿孩子们的肖像照的故事。

1.段落续写：

①由第一段首句内容“我的心凉了。‘我没有15美元。’”可知，第一段可描写作者没有钱买多余的肖像，带着孩子在商场玩耍的过程。

②由第二段首句内容“当我们正在吃午饭的时候，那个年轻女人走过来，把什么东西塞到我手里。”可知，第二段可描写肖像画室里的年轻女人送给作者一些东西，以此来帮助作者和她的孩子们。

2.续写线索：拒绝购买多余的肖像——带着孩子离开——带孩子们在商场玩耍——吃午餐——年轻女人送给作者一些东西————两人进行简短交流——感悟

3.词汇激活（一个词汇要写出相近的表达）

行为类

①走开：walk away /go away

②玩得开心：enjoy oneself/have a good time

③改变：change/ transform

情绪类

①累的：tired/sweatful

②吃惊的：surprised/amazed

【典型句式】

[高分句型1] My kids climbed on them enjoying themselves very much. (运用了现在分词作状语)

[高分句型2] Although the mall’s food court was near, I didn’t have extra money. (运用了although引导让步状语从句)

[高分句型3] I managed to say “thank you” as she turned and walked away. (运用了as引导的时间状语从句)