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这是一份适用于新教材2024版高考英语一轮总复习写作专项提升第二部分第3讲必须要掌握的读后续写情节构思4维度课件牛津译林版，共48页。PPT课件主要包含了思路分析 等内容，欢迎下载使用。
维度一 如何利用两段首句利用“两段首句定一框,二框二首正能量”确定续写方向。1.两段首句定一框:即根据第一段首句关键信息与第二段首句关键信息确定续写部分第一段的续写框架,同时注意情节发展合情合理;2.二框二首正能量:即用第二段首句关键信息推测第二段情节和情感发展,并结合正能量结尾的续写原则确定第二段的续写框架。
典型例题阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。(2021浙江1月卷改编)Pumpkin (南瓜) carving at Hallween is a family traditin.We visit a lcal farm every Octber.In the pumpkin field,I cmpete with my three brthers and sister t seek ut the biggest pumpkin.My dad has a rule that we have t carry ur pumpkins back hme,and as the eldest child I have an advantage—I carried an 85-punder back last year.
This year,it was hard t tell whether my prize r the ne chsen by my 14-year-ld brther,Jasn,was the winner.Unfrtunately we frgt t weigh them befre taking ut their insides,but I was determined t prve my pint. All f us were hard at wrk at the kitchen table,with my mm filming the annual event.I’m unsure nw why I thught frcing my head inside the pumpkin wuld settle the matter,but it seemed t make perfect sense at the time.
With the pumpkin resting n the table,hle uppermst,I bent ver and pressed my head against the pening.At first I gt jammed just abve my eyes and then,as I went n with my task,unwilling t quit,my nse briefly prevented entry.Finally I managed t put my whle head int it,like a crk (软木塞) frced int a bttle.I was able t straighten up with the huge pumpkin resting n my shulders.
My excitement was shrt-lived.The pumpkin was heavy.“I’m ging t set it dwn,nw,”I said,and with Jasn helping t supprt its weight,I bent back ver the table t give it smewhere t rest.It was nly when I tried t remve my head that I realized getting ut was ging t be less straightfrward than getting in.When I pulled hard,my nse gt in the way.I gt int a panic as I pressed firmly against the table and mved my head arund trying t find the right angle,but it was n use.“I can’t get it ut!” I shuted,my vice sunding unnaturally lud in the enclsed space.
注意:续写词数应为150左右。I was stuck fr five r six minutes thugh it felt much lnger.________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________That vide was psted the day befre Hallween._________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
利用首段1.两段首句定一框(1)根据第一段首句和第二段首句中关键信息“That vide was psted”可逆推出,作者的头从南瓜里弄出来了。第一段应叙述作者如何脱困,可描写作者害怕得哭了,引来父亲或兄弟姐妹的帮忙。(2)第一段尾句衔接第二段首句中的“That vide was psted”和原文第二段中的信息“my mm filming the annual event”,可描述妈妈录视频的情景。2.二框二首正能量(1)第二段内容衔接第二段首句中的“That vide was psted”,可叙述视频录好,发到网上后网友的反应和作者的感悟。(2)文章尾句应体现正能量:吸取教训——三思而后行。
【参考范文】I was stuck fr five r six minutes thugh it felt much lnger. Grwing mre panic,I began t cry.Frtunately,hearing me crying,my dad came and helped me lay my head n the table,s my neck culd rest fr a while.Then he said t me,“Listen,hney.I have t cut this pumpkin in half.” I had n chice but t keep still with my eyes tightly clsed and listen t the knife mving n the pumpkin.Mments later,my head was finally released frm this hrrible pumpkin cage.Then my mm tld me she had just filmed me managing t pull my head ut f the pumpkin.
That vide was psted the day befre Hallween.Surprisingly,it became a hit that the vide started racking up hundreds f thusands f views.At the very beginning,hardly culd I cntain my embarrassment when I was recgnized as the ne in the vide.Hwever,with time ging by,my life was back n track.Whenever I thught abut the day n which I gt my head stuck in a pumpkin,I culdn’t help but laugh ut lud.I wuld say I learned my lessn—lk befre yu leap!
维度二 如何营造故事冲突故事最令人津津乐道的部分往往是它的情节。故事首先是“事故”,换句话说,情节中的冲突孕育了故事。阅读时,我们总是被冲突或一连串的冲突“牵引”,与主人公“同呼吸,共命运”。一个好故事,本质上就是对冲突的记录。冲突存在于对立的两股力量——主角与反派,不同的观点或截然不同的道德选择等。它可以是外在的,也可以是内在的。冲突推动情节发展,走向高潮,最终得到解决。下面介绍三种增加故事冲突的途径。
途径1 增加外部冲突增加外部冲突是一种明显有效的可以达到故事高潮的方式。冲突带来紧迫感,将故事推向顶点。1.角色之间的冲突[示例]On the furth r fifth night,we had truble finding a htel with a vacancy.After driving in vain fr sme time,Mm suddenly gt a great idea: Why didn’t we find a huse with a likely-lking backyard and ask if we culd set up tent there?David and I became nervus.分析:开车找旅馆——徒劳无功——母亲建议搭帐篷——David和我倍感紧张,心有不悦(母子的观点不一)
2.角色与环境之间的冲突[示例]Then Mac heard quick and lud breathing behind saw instantly that it wasn’t a dg at all,but a wlf,quickly catching up with him.Mac’s heart jumped...,he fired the spray at the wlf.A bright red clud envelped the animal,and t Mac’s relief,it fell back,shaking its head.But a minute later, it...,tearing pen his tent bag.He fired at the wlf a secnd time,and again,it fell back...分析:人(角色)——狼(环境)大战:Mac骑车独行,路遇饿狼,与之搏斗,险象环生。
3.时间刻不容缓,决策变得紧急[示例]The car abruptly stpped in frnt f him.“Get int the car.” Paul shuted at Mac.Mac jumped ff the bike and slid int the car withut delay as the wlf was just tw steps away and was abut t tear Mac int pieces.What a narrw escape!分析:汽车突然停在面前——Mac紧急上车避险——饿狼近在咫尺(此情此景,刻不容缓)
4.增加意外情节,营造困难境地[示例]But befre we jumped ff the hrses,we fund that we had been ff the beaten track and gt lst.We had n idea where we were and it gt dark. Exhausted and hungry,I wndered if we culd find ur way back.分析:草原迷路(障碍1)——天色渐黑(障碍2)——又累又饿(障碍3)——心理恐慌(障碍4)
途径2 放大内心冲突放大内心冲突(文中角色的内心斗争)有助于抓住读者的心,让读者感同身受,一步步将读者带入其境、融入其中,有助于制造故事波澜和冲突。[示例]Immediately,an abslute darkness ruled the frest.Jane,exhausted and scared,lay dwn near a stne,missing her family at a distance.All the fantastic memry crwded in and she culdn’t help crying,“Hadn’t I quarrelled with Tm,walked away and climbed t the high place,I wuldn’t be trapped in this awful place,cnfrnted with the danger f dying.” She regretted with endless anxiety,and then became asleep with shining tears in her eyes.
分析:夜色渐黑——独处森林——阴森恐怖——后悔莫及(内心冲突的刻画),内心独白(往昔对比+虚拟语气使用+旁白描写)充分利用环境描写可以起到烘托故事高潮的作用。当故事角色在碰到困难的时候,我们往往要加大笔墨来描写故事环境,以此衬托故事发展。强化环境描写增强了高潮元素。
途径3 使用环境描写增加不确定性[示例]Immediately,an abslute darkness ruled the frest.Even wrse,the temperature suddenly drpped dramatically.分析:森林漆黑——气温下降——面临困境
维度三 如何构思精彩结尾解决了故事的核心冲突后,需要给故事一个结尾,常见的结尾方式有紧扣主题法、首尾呼应法和主旨升华法。1.紧扣主题法。紧扣主题式结尾就是在结尾时用一两句话点明文章主旨,而文章的主旨一般可以通过阅读材料总结得出。例如2020年新高考全国Ⅰ卷的读后续写,Meredith夫人和她的孩子们想办法帮助Bernard一家摆脱了困境。我们可以这样结尾“He never frgt the help frm the Meredith family,and he als did what he culd t help thse in need.”,这样故事的主题就得以体现了。这种卒章显志的结尾方式增加了文章的深刻性和感染力,有画龙点睛的作用。
2.首尾呼应法。首尾呼应是记叙文常见的写作手法之一,首尾呼应式结尾就是指故事的结尾要与故事的开头有一定关联。2021年新高考全国Ⅰ卷的读后续写首句是“The twins were filled with excitement as they thught f the surprise they were planning fr Mther’s Day.”,我们在结尾时可以利用孩子们的愿望得以实现来呼应首句,以“Hw excited they were when they fund they culd d smething fr their mther!”为结尾。这种结尾方式不仅能够保证续写不偏离主题,还可以增加故事的连贯性。3.主旨升华法。很多时候,一些记叙文,特别是有哲理的记叙文,会通过一个故事说明一个道理。对于这类记叙文,要善于把握它的主题,然后通过一句高度凝练的话(通常是名言或谚语)给以启示。例如2020年新高考全国Ⅰ卷的读后续写中,可以通过“In additin t lve,the mst beautiful verb in the wrld is help.”升华乐于助人的主题,号召读者主动帮助他人。
维度四 如何遣词造句,润色续写内容读后续写题对学生的语言综合运用能力要求更高。要增添“读后续写”的表达效果,不仅要有词汇量的积累,还要注意避免使用泛泛而谈的词汇,应该多使用具体的词汇使表达更加准确到位。只有准确、连续的动作和夸张丰富的表情以及细致的心理活动描写,才能让人物栩栩如生地站起来!
一、善用动作描写读后续写的写作过程中,成功的动作描写,可以交代人物的身份、地位,可以反映人物心理活动的进程,可以表现人物的性格特征。相反,空洞、笼统的描写会使内容缺乏生动性,使人物形象不丰满。人物的动作或简单或复杂,都不是一下子就能完成的,细心观察才能捕捉到最能体现人物特征的慢镜头。因此,在描写动作时,同学们要学会细化动作,把动作过程分解成一连串细微的动作,形成动作链,写出动作的连贯性,这样才能使描写具有画面感,使人物更立体。
1.什么是动作链?[例1] He stpped the taxi,jumped in with the suitcase and tld the driver,“G t the plice statin,please.”分析:这句话的意思是:他拦下了出租车,拿着箱子跳进车里,然后对司机说:“请到警察局去。”其实,这句话只是描写了“上车”的动作,然而通过拆解,细致地展现了一个动作的组成部分。其本质是避免简单粗暴地使用一个动词概括整个动作,而是用2、3个动词组合进行描述。我们可以用一个公式总结以上例句,如:上车=拦车+上车+告诉目的地。
[例2] She wuld get ff the car excitedly,laughing and dancing arund.分析:这句话的意思是:她会兴奋地下车,又笑又跳。这里讲的是一个比较粗线条的妈妈,动作描写完整地描述了这位妈妈下车时及下车后的表现,即:下车=下车+笑+跳。
2.续写常用的动作链形式(1)“A,B and C”结构这种结构就是多个连续的动作用在一个句子中。我们用几个例句来形象地解读一下这类动作链是如何形成的。[例1] 男孩们跳入湖中嬉戏。分析:跳入湖中,这个动作前面或后面会有哪些动作?动作链:跳入湖中嬉戏=冲向湖边+脱掉衣服+跳入水中。The bys rushed t the lake,tk ff their clthes and jumped int the water.
[例2] 她抱住儿子。分析:抱住儿子,这个动作前面或后面会有哪些动作?动作链:抱住儿子=冲向前+蹲下+一把抱住。She dashed frward,knelt dwn and gathered her sn int her arms.[例3] 这个歌手唱歌。分析:歌手唱歌,这个动作前面或后面会有哪些动作?动作链:歌手唱歌=扫视观众+深吸一口气+开始演唱。The singer glanced at the audience,tk a deep breath and began t sing.通过阅读以上三个动作链的例子,我们会感觉眼前展现出一幅生动形象的画面,虽然没有情感词汇在里面,但是已经把一些情感都丰富地体现出来了。
(2)“句子+非谓语动词”结构下面用三个模式来说明这种描写动作的句子结构。模式1:句子+动词-ing[例1] 老人静坐。分析:老人静坐,这个动作前面或后面会有哪些动作?动作链:老人静坐=坐在夕阳下+看报纸+听广播。The ld man sat under the sunset,reading the newspaper and listening t the radi.
模式2:句子+having dne[例2] 没有买到票。分析:没有买到票,这个动作前面或后面会有哪些动作?动作链:没有买到票=排了很久队+被告知票卖完了。Having queued fr 3 hurs,he was tld that the ticket had been sld ut.模式3:句子+动词-ed[例3] 孩子们哭了。分析:“哭”这个动作前面或后面会有哪些动作?或者因为什么原因孩子哭了?动作链:哭了=被感动+哭了。Deeply mved by the stry,the children began t cry.
二、会用高级句式1.形容词(短语)作状语形容词(短语)在句中作状语,可以表明主语所处的状态。这种表达结构简单,却表意丰富,读后续写中经常用到。如:Lst in the muntain fr tw days,these students were finally rescued by the lcal plice.这些学生在山里迷路两天后,最终被当地警察救了出来。Speechless and happy,she held her sn tightly int her arms,with tears welling up in her eyes.她高兴得说不出话来,紧紧地抱着她的儿子,热泪盈眶。
2.with复合结构with复合结构可以丰富句子的内容,其作用一般相当于一个状语从句,可以表示原因、条件、伴随、结果、方式等。如:She std n the platfrm with her hand waving t her friend.她站在站台上,朝她的朋友挥手。The little girl lked at the big fish with her eyes wide pen.这个小女孩看着这条大鱼,眼睛睁得很大。The ld man lay n the bench,with his face cvered by a newspaper.这位老人躺在长凳上,脸上盖着一张报纸。With a lt f wrk t d this evening,he is unable t cme t the party.他今晚还有许多工作要做,不能来参加这个派对。
3.独立主格结构独立主格结构的构成为“名词/代词+现在分词/过去分词/不定式/形容词/介词短语”,其作用相当于一个状语从句。如:The ther tw climbed dwn int the crater t cllect sme lava fr later study,but this being my first experience,I stayed at the tp and watched them.另外两人向下爬进火山口去收集供日后研究用的岩浆,但我是第一次经历这样的事,所以留在山顶上观察他们。The by rushed t the ld man’s huse,his face cvered with sweat.男孩冲到老人家里,满脸是汗。
4.倒装句型为了突出或强调句子中的某个部分,我们可以将其置于句首,形成倒装结构。如:Only then did we decide t answer vilence with vilence.直到那时我们才决定以暴制暴。Never will Zhu Yang frget his first jb at the ffice f China Daily.周洋永远不会忘记他在《中国日报》办公室获得的第一份工作。Amng the painters wh brke away frm the traditinal style f painting were the Impressinists,wh lived and wrked in Paris.在那些突破传统画法的画家中有生活和工作在巴黎的印象派画家。
5.强调句型强调句型的基本结构为“It is/was+被强调部分+that/wh+其他部分”。如:It was my sister wh/that first had the idea t cycle alng the entire Mekng River frm where it begins t where it ends.首先想到要沿着湄公河从源头骑车到终点的是我的姐姐。Further reading made me realize that it was hard wrk and determinatin as well as her gentle nature that gt her int medical schl.进一步的阅读让我意识到是她的努力、决心以及温柔的性格使她进入了医学院。
6.虚拟语气在表示虚假的、与事实相反的或难以实现的情况时用虚拟语气;表示主观愿望或某种强烈情感时,也用虚拟语气。如:If there hadn’t been fr yur help,the by wuld have failed in the test.要是没有你的帮助,这个男孩就会在测试中不及格。But fr this experience,she wuldn’t have realized that she shuld spend mre time with her family.如果没有这次经历,她就不会意识到她应该花更多的时间和家人在一起。
三、巧用修辞手法无论是在汉语还是在英语中,修辞都是一门具有独特魅力的艺术。在读后续写中,恰当地运用修辞手法可以使平淡的语言变得鲜活、生动,从而增强文章的表现力,也有助于考生获得高分。其中,较为常用的修辞手法有比喻和拟人两种。1.比喻比喻是根据事物之间的相似点,把某一事物比作另一事物,从而把抽象的事物说得具体、形象,把深奥的道理说得通俗、浅显、明白。常见的比喻形式有明喻和暗喻两种。
(1)明喻通常是把被比喻的“本体”和用以比喻的“喻体”同时说出,说明本体事物像喻体事物。它是最简单、最常见的一种修辞手法,其常见的标志词有like,as,as if,as thugh等。The scenery alng the jurney is just like a breathtaking landscape painting.(景物描写)沿途的风景就像一幅令人叹为观止的山水画。The icy wind started hwling,cutting my face like a sharp knife.(环境描写)寒风开始咆哮,像锋利的小刀一样刺痛了我的脸。
The smile n her face was as vibrant as the sun n a summer day.(情感描写)她脸上的笑容和夏天的太阳一样充满活力。I reached ut t tuch her face,which was as cld as the ice.(人物描写)我伸手去摸她的脸,她的脸冰凉。Her hair grew greyer and greyer,as if (it were) cvered with snw and frst.(肖像描写)她的头发越来越白了,简直像盖了一头皑皑的霜雪。
(2)暗喻与明喻不同,暗喻不通过比喻词表现出来,而是直接将一种事物当成另一种事物来描写,此时两种事物之间的联系和相似之处都是暗含的。暗喻较明喻而言更加简洁,也更加生动、深刻,表现力强。Her hair was a glden river streaming dwn her shulders.(肖像描写)她的头发像是一条流淌在她肩上的金色河流。The beautiful park was a scented carpet f clr.(景物描写)那个美丽的公园就像一块芬芳的彩色地毯。I felt a lump in my thrat,tears welling up in my eyes.(情感描写)我如鲠在喉,泪水湿润了眼眶。The by wlfed dwn the fd.(动作描写)这个男孩狼吞虎咽地吃下了食物。
2.拟人拟人就是把事物人格化,它既能生动形象地写出某事物的某个特点,又使事物具有拟人化后特有的具象效果。The breeze gently kissed her cheeks.(景物描写)微风轻柔地亲吻着她的脸颊。The feathery snwflakes danced in the night air,making a beautiful picture.(景物描写)鹅毛般的雪花在夜空中飞舞,构成了一幅美丽的图画。Immediately,an abslute darkness ruled the frest.(景物描写)
顷刻间,森林完全被黑暗笼罩。Fear seized/swallwed him.(情感描写)恐惧把他吞噬了。Anger chked my wrds.(情感描写)我气得说不出话来。A gd idea suddenly struck me.(心理描写)我突然想到一个好主意。
跟踪训练(2022山东潍坊高三一模)阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。A GIFT FOR GRANDPASummer vacatin was cming.Jack and his brther Berlin were filled with excitement as they thught f visiting their grandparents again.The big day came at last.After the happy family gt ready,they set ut fr the grandparents’ eagerly.On the way,the brthers were excitedly talking abut the fun they had with grandparents.
A little blue huse with a tall white chimney finally appeared.Behind the prperty(房屋) was the frest carrying their gd memries with Grandpa. They arrived at the driveway,at the end f which Grandma was waiting fr them jyfully.Jack and Berlin each gave Grandma a big hug and then swept t the living rm,shuting excitedly,“Grandpa,we are back!”
Seeing his grandsns,Grandpa was wild with jy and tried t get up with all his strength frm the chair but in vain.A helpless expressin flashed n his face.Grandma explained that his health was declining rapidly and maybe culdn’t stand up n his wn frever.But Grandpa declared stubbrnly(倔强地),“I can!” Certainly,he was stuck in his byish way.Mum and grandparents were happy t meet again after a lng time.They sat tgether and chatted abut what happened recently.
The brthers were sn bred with adult cnversatin,went ut and wandered int the frest.Tall trees stretched up t the heavens with large branches crssing each ther,while yung nes rse straight like sldiers. Grandpa was nce a great explrer full f wisdm.He culd tell where the birds came frm nly by their calls and sngs.The trees,birds,lizards,lts f many merry mments they spent with Grandpa in the frest!But nw Grandpa culdn’t get up.This made them wrried.“We’d think ut a way t cheer him up,” Jack said.“Grandpa is a bird lver,and we can catch him a bird,” Berlin suggested.“But he hates birds being caged!” Jack shk his head.Then a bright idea came t Jack’s mind.“Why nt make a cane (拐杖) ut f a yung tree!”
注意:续写词数应为150左右。Berlin thught it was a gd idea.______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Jack and Berlin handed the cane t Grandpa._____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Berlin thught it was a gd idea.They set abut making a cane fr Grandpa immediately.The mment they chse a yung tree f mderate size, they cut it dwn and then remved the branches and skins with a knife.With a small wd fastened n the tp as a handle,a fashinable cane came int being. T make the handle feel cmfrtable,they wrapped a sft clth arund it.Berlin, full f innvative ideas,carved wrds “Gift T Grandpa” n the cane.What a cl cane!
维度一 如何利用两段首句利用“两段首句定一框,二框二首正能量”确定续写方向。1.两段首句定一框:即根据第一段首句关键信息与第二段首句关键信息确定续写部分第一段的续写框架,同时注意情节发展合情合理;2.二框二首正能量:即用第二段首句关键信息推测第二段情节和情感发展,并结合正能量结尾的续写原则确定第二段的续写框架。
典型例题阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。(2021浙江1月卷改编)Pumpkin (南瓜) carving at Hallween is a family traditin.We visit a lcal farm every Octber.In the pumpkin field,I cmpete with my three brthers and sister t seek ut the biggest pumpkin.My dad has a rule that we have t carry ur pumpkins back hme,and as the eldest child I have an advantage—I carried an 85-punder back last year.
This year,it was hard t tell whether my prize r the ne chsen by my 14-year-ld brther,Jasn,was the winner.Unfrtunately we frgt t weigh them befre taking ut their insides,but I was determined t prve my pint. All f us were hard at wrk at the kitchen table,with my mm filming the annual event.I’m unsure nw why I thught frcing my head inside the pumpkin wuld settle the matter,but it seemed t make perfect sense at the time.
With the pumpkin resting n the table,hle uppermst,I bent ver and pressed my head against the pening.At first I gt jammed just abve my eyes and then,as I went n with my task,unwilling t quit,my nse briefly prevented entry.Finally I managed t put my whle head int it,like a crk (软木塞) frced int a bttle.I was able t straighten up with the huge pumpkin resting n my shulders.
My excitement was shrt-lived.The pumpkin was heavy.“I’m ging t set it dwn,nw,”I said,and with Jasn helping t supprt its weight,I bent back ver the table t give it smewhere t rest.It was nly when I tried t remve my head that I realized getting ut was ging t be less straightfrward than getting in.When I pulled hard,my nse gt in the way.I gt int a panic as I pressed firmly against the table and mved my head arund trying t find the right angle,but it was n use.“I can’t get it ut!” I shuted,my vice sunding unnaturally lud in the enclsed space.
注意:续写词数应为150左右。I was stuck fr five r six minutes thugh it felt much lnger.________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________That vide was psted the day befre Hallween._________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
利用首段1.两段首句定一框(1)根据第一段首句和第二段首句中关键信息“That vide was psted”可逆推出,作者的头从南瓜里弄出来了。第一段应叙述作者如何脱困,可描写作者害怕得哭了,引来父亲或兄弟姐妹的帮忙。(2)第一段尾句衔接第二段首句中的“That vide was psted”和原文第二段中的信息“my mm filming the annual event”,可描述妈妈录视频的情景。2.二框二首正能量(1)第二段内容衔接第二段首句中的“That vide was psted”,可叙述视频录好,发到网上后网友的反应和作者的感悟。(2)文章尾句应体现正能量:吸取教训——三思而后行。
【参考范文】I was stuck fr five r six minutes thugh it felt much lnger. Grwing mre panic,I began t cry.Frtunately,hearing me crying,my dad came and helped me lay my head n the table,s my neck culd rest fr a while.Then he said t me,“Listen,hney.I have t cut this pumpkin in half.” I had n chice but t keep still with my eyes tightly clsed and listen t the knife mving n the pumpkin.Mments later,my head was finally released frm this hrrible pumpkin cage.Then my mm tld me she had just filmed me managing t pull my head ut f the pumpkin.
That vide was psted the day befre Hallween.Surprisingly,it became a hit that the vide started racking up hundreds f thusands f views.At the very beginning,hardly culd I cntain my embarrassment when I was recgnized as the ne in the vide.Hwever,with time ging by,my life was back n track.Whenever I thught abut the day n which I gt my head stuck in a pumpkin,I culdn’t help but laugh ut lud.I wuld say I learned my lessn—lk befre yu leap!
维度二 如何营造故事冲突故事最令人津津乐道的部分往往是它的情节。故事首先是“事故”,换句话说,情节中的冲突孕育了故事。阅读时,我们总是被冲突或一连串的冲突“牵引”,与主人公“同呼吸,共命运”。一个好故事,本质上就是对冲突的记录。冲突存在于对立的两股力量——主角与反派,不同的观点或截然不同的道德选择等。它可以是外在的,也可以是内在的。冲突推动情节发展,走向高潮,最终得到解决。下面介绍三种增加故事冲突的途径。
途径1 增加外部冲突增加外部冲突是一种明显有效的可以达到故事高潮的方式。冲突带来紧迫感,将故事推向顶点。1.角色之间的冲突[示例]On the furth r fifth night,we had truble finding a htel with a vacancy.After driving in vain fr sme time,Mm suddenly gt a great idea: Why didn’t we find a huse with a likely-lking backyard and ask if we culd set up tent there?David and I became nervus.分析:开车找旅馆——徒劳无功——母亲建议搭帐篷——David和我倍感紧张,心有不悦(母子的观点不一)
2.角色与环境之间的冲突[示例]Then Mac heard quick and lud breathing behind saw instantly that it wasn’t a dg at all,but a wlf,quickly catching up with him.Mac’s heart jumped...,he fired the spray at the wlf.A bright red clud envelped the animal,and t Mac’s relief,it fell back,shaking its head.But a minute later, it...,tearing pen his tent bag.He fired at the wlf a secnd time,and again,it fell back...分析:人(角色)——狼(环境)大战:Mac骑车独行,路遇饿狼,与之搏斗,险象环生。
3.时间刻不容缓,决策变得紧急[示例]The car abruptly stpped in frnt f him.“Get int the car.” Paul shuted at Mac.Mac jumped ff the bike and slid int the car withut delay as the wlf was just tw steps away and was abut t tear Mac int pieces.What a narrw escape!分析:汽车突然停在面前——Mac紧急上车避险——饿狼近在咫尺(此情此景,刻不容缓)
4.增加意外情节,营造困难境地[示例]But befre we jumped ff the hrses,we fund that we had been ff the beaten track and gt lst.We had n idea where we were and it gt dark. Exhausted and hungry,I wndered if we culd find ur way back.分析:草原迷路(障碍1)——天色渐黑(障碍2)——又累又饿(障碍3)——心理恐慌(障碍4)
途径2 放大内心冲突放大内心冲突(文中角色的内心斗争)有助于抓住读者的心,让读者感同身受,一步步将读者带入其境、融入其中,有助于制造故事波澜和冲突。[示例]Immediately,an abslute darkness ruled the frest.Jane,exhausted and scared,lay dwn near a stne,missing her family at a distance.All the fantastic memry crwded in and she culdn’t help crying,“Hadn’t I quarrelled with Tm,walked away and climbed t the high place,I wuldn’t be trapped in this awful place,cnfrnted with the danger f dying.” She regretted with endless anxiety,and then became asleep with shining tears in her eyes.
分析:夜色渐黑——独处森林——阴森恐怖——后悔莫及(内心冲突的刻画),内心独白(往昔对比+虚拟语气使用+旁白描写)充分利用环境描写可以起到烘托故事高潮的作用。当故事角色在碰到困难的时候,我们往往要加大笔墨来描写故事环境,以此衬托故事发展。强化环境描写增强了高潮元素。
途径3 使用环境描写增加不确定性[示例]Immediately,an abslute darkness ruled the frest.Even wrse,the temperature suddenly drpped dramatically.分析:森林漆黑——气温下降——面临困境
维度三 如何构思精彩结尾解决了故事的核心冲突后,需要给故事一个结尾,常见的结尾方式有紧扣主题法、首尾呼应法和主旨升华法。1.紧扣主题法。紧扣主题式结尾就是在结尾时用一两句话点明文章主旨,而文章的主旨一般可以通过阅读材料总结得出。例如2020年新高考全国Ⅰ卷的读后续写,Meredith夫人和她的孩子们想办法帮助Bernard一家摆脱了困境。我们可以这样结尾“He never frgt the help frm the Meredith family,and he als did what he culd t help thse in need.”,这样故事的主题就得以体现了。这种卒章显志的结尾方式增加了文章的深刻性和感染力,有画龙点睛的作用。
2.首尾呼应法。首尾呼应是记叙文常见的写作手法之一,首尾呼应式结尾就是指故事的结尾要与故事的开头有一定关联。2021年新高考全国Ⅰ卷的读后续写首句是“The twins were filled with excitement as they thught f the surprise they were planning fr Mther’s Day.”,我们在结尾时可以利用孩子们的愿望得以实现来呼应首句,以“Hw excited they were when they fund they culd d smething fr their mther!”为结尾。这种结尾方式不仅能够保证续写不偏离主题,还可以增加故事的连贯性。3.主旨升华法。很多时候,一些记叙文,特别是有哲理的记叙文,会通过一个故事说明一个道理。对于这类记叙文,要善于把握它的主题,然后通过一句高度凝练的话(通常是名言或谚语)给以启示。例如2020年新高考全国Ⅰ卷的读后续写中,可以通过“In additin t lve,the mst beautiful verb in the wrld is help.”升华乐于助人的主题,号召读者主动帮助他人。
维度四 如何遣词造句,润色续写内容读后续写题对学生的语言综合运用能力要求更高。要增添“读后续写”的表达效果,不仅要有词汇量的积累,还要注意避免使用泛泛而谈的词汇,应该多使用具体的词汇使表达更加准确到位。只有准确、连续的动作和夸张丰富的表情以及细致的心理活动描写,才能让人物栩栩如生地站起来!
一、善用动作描写读后续写的写作过程中,成功的动作描写,可以交代人物的身份、地位,可以反映人物心理活动的进程,可以表现人物的性格特征。相反,空洞、笼统的描写会使内容缺乏生动性,使人物形象不丰满。人物的动作或简单或复杂,都不是一下子就能完成的,细心观察才能捕捉到最能体现人物特征的慢镜头。因此,在描写动作时,同学们要学会细化动作,把动作过程分解成一连串细微的动作,形成动作链,写出动作的连贯性,这样才能使描写具有画面感,使人物更立体。
1.什么是动作链?[例1] He stpped the taxi,jumped in with the suitcase and tld the driver,“G t the plice statin,please.”分析:这句话的意思是:他拦下了出租车,拿着箱子跳进车里,然后对司机说:“请到警察局去。”其实,这句话只是描写了“上车”的动作,然而通过拆解,细致地展现了一个动作的组成部分。其本质是避免简单粗暴地使用一个动词概括整个动作,而是用2、3个动词组合进行描述。我们可以用一个公式总结以上例句,如:上车=拦车+上车+告诉目的地。
[例2] She wuld get ff the car excitedly,laughing and dancing arund.分析:这句话的意思是:她会兴奋地下车,又笑又跳。这里讲的是一个比较粗线条的妈妈,动作描写完整地描述了这位妈妈下车时及下车后的表现,即:下车=下车+笑+跳。
2.续写常用的动作链形式(1)“A,B and C”结构这种结构就是多个连续的动作用在一个句子中。我们用几个例句来形象地解读一下这类动作链是如何形成的。[例1] 男孩们跳入湖中嬉戏。分析:跳入湖中,这个动作前面或后面会有哪些动作?动作链:跳入湖中嬉戏=冲向湖边+脱掉衣服+跳入水中。The bys rushed t the lake,tk ff their clthes and jumped int the water.
[例2] 她抱住儿子。分析:抱住儿子,这个动作前面或后面会有哪些动作?动作链:抱住儿子=冲向前+蹲下+一把抱住。She dashed frward,knelt dwn and gathered her sn int her arms.[例3] 这个歌手唱歌。分析:歌手唱歌,这个动作前面或后面会有哪些动作?动作链:歌手唱歌=扫视观众+深吸一口气+开始演唱。The singer glanced at the audience,tk a deep breath and began t sing.通过阅读以上三个动作链的例子,我们会感觉眼前展现出一幅生动形象的画面,虽然没有情感词汇在里面,但是已经把一些情感都丰富地体现出来了。
(2)“句子+非谓语动词”结构下面用三个模式来说明这种描写动作的句子结构。模式1:句子+动词-ing[例1] 老人静坐。分析:老人静坐,这个动作前面或后面会有哪些动作?动作链:老人静坐=坐在夕阳下+看报纸+听广播。The ld man sat under the sunset,reading the newspaper and listening t the radi.
模式2:句子+having dne[例2] 没有买到票。分析:没有买到票,这个动作前面或后面会有哪些动作?动作链:没有买到票=排了很久队+被告知票卖完了。Having queued fr 3 hurs,he was tld that the ticket had been sld ut.模式3:句子+动词-ed[例3] 孩子们哭了。分析:“哭”这个动作前面或后面会有哪些动作?或者因为什么原因孩子哭了?动作链:哭了=被感动+哭了。Deeply mved by the stry,the children began t cry.
二、会用高级句式1.形容词(短语)作状语形容词(短语)在句中作状语,可以表明主语所处的状态。这种表达结构简单,却表意丰富,读后续写中经常用到。如:Lst in the muntain fr tw days,these students were finally rescued by the lcal plice.这些学生在山里迷路两天后,最终被当地警察救了出来。Speechless and happy,she held her sn tightly int her arms,with tears welling up in her eyes.她高兴得说不出话来,紧紧地抱着她的儿子,热泪盈眶。
2.with复合结构with复合结构可以丰富句子的内容,其作用一般相当于一个状语从句,可以表示原因、条件、伴随、结果、方式等。如:She std n the platfrm with her hand waving t her friend.她站在站台上,朝她的朋友挥手。The little girl lked at the big fish with her eyes wide pen.这个小女孩看着这条大鱼,眼睛睁得很大。The ld man lay n the bench,with his face cvered by a newspaper.这位老人躺在长凳上,脸上盖着一张报纸。With a lt f wrk t d this evening,he is unable t cme t the party.他今晚还有许多工作要做,不能来参加这个派对。
3.独立主格结构独立主格结构的构成为“名词/代词+现在分词/过去分词/不定式/形容词/介词短语”,其作用相当于一个状语从句。如:The ther tw climbed dwn int the crater t cllect sme lava fr later study,but this being my first experience,I stayed at the tp and watched them.另外两人向下爬进火山口去收集供日后研究用的岩浆,但我是第一次经历这样的事,所以留在山顶上观察他们。The by rushed t the ld man’s huse,his face cvered with sweat.男孩冲到老人家里,满脸是汗。
4.倒装句型为了突出或强调句子中的某个部分,我们可以将其置于句首,形成倒装结构。如:Only then did we decide t answer vilence with vilence.直到那时我们才决定以暴制暴。Never will Zhu Yang frget his first jb at the ffice f China Daily.周洋永远不会忘记他在《中国日报》办公室获得的第一份工作。Amng the painters wh brke away frm the traditinal style f painting were the Impressinists,wh lived and wrked in Paris.在那些突破传统画法的画家中有生活和工作在巴黎的印象派画家。
5.强调句型强调句型的基本结构为“It is/was+被强调部分+that/wh+其他部分”。如:It was my sister wh/that first had the idea t cycle alng the entire Mekng River frm where it begins t where it ends.首先想到要沿着湄公河从源头骑车到终点的是我的姐姐。Further reading made me realize that it was hard wrk and determinatin as well as her gentle nature that gt her int medical schl.进一步的阅读让我意识到是她的努力、决心以及温柔的性格使她进入了医学院。
6.虚拟语气在表示虚假的、与事实相反的或难以实现的情况时用虚拟语气;表示主观愿望或某种强烈情感时,也用虚拟语气。如:If there hadn’t been fr yur help,the by wuld have failed in the test.要是没有你的帮助,这个男孩就会在测试中不及格。But fr this experience,she wuldn’t have realized that she shuld spend mre time with her family.如果没有这次经历,她就不会意识到她应该花更多的时间和家人在一起。
三、巧用修辞手法无论是在汉语还是在英语中,修辞都是一门具有独特魅力的艺术。在读后续写中,恰当地运用修辞手法可以使平淡的语言变得鲜活、生动,从而增强文章的表现力,也有助于考生获得高分。其中,较为常用的修辞手法有比喻和拟人两种。1.比喻比喻是根据事物之间的相似点,把某一事物比作另一事物,从而把抽象的事物说得具体、形象,把深奥的道理说得通俗、浅显、明白。常见的比喻形式有明喻和暗喻两种。
(1)明喻通常是把被比喻的“本体”和用以比喻的“喻体”同时说出,说明本体事物像喻体事物。它是最简单、最常见的一种修辞手法,其常见的标志词有like,as,as if,as thugh等。The scenery alng the jurney is just like a breathtaking landscape painting.(景物描写)沿途的风景就像一幅令人叹为观止的山水画。The icy wind started hwling,cutting my face like a sharp knife.(环境描写)寒风开始咆哮,像锋利的小刀一样刺痛了我的脸。
The smile n her face was as vibrant as the sun n a summer day.(情感描写)她脸上的笑容和夏天的太阳一样充满活力。I reached ut t tuch her face,which was as cld as the ice.(人物描写)我伸手去摸她的脸,她的脸冰凉。Her hair grew greyer and greyer,as if (it were) cvered with snw and frst.(肖像描写)她的头发越来越白了,简直像盖了一头皑皑的霜雪。
(2)暗喻与明喻不同,暗喻不通过比喻词表现出来,而是直接将一种事物当成另一种事物来描写,此时两种事物之间的联系和相似之处都是暗含的。暗喻较明喻而言更加简洁,也更加生动、深刻,表现力强。Her hair was a glden river streaming dwn her shulders.(肖像描写)她的头发像是一条流淌在她肩上的金色河流。The beautiful park was a scented carpet f clr.(景物描写)那个美丽的公园就像一块芬芳的彩色地毯。I felt a lump in my thrat,tears welling up in my eyes.(情感描写)我如鲠在喉,泪水湿润了眼眶。The by wlfed dwn the fd.(动作描写)这个男孩狼吞虎咽地吃下了食物。
2.拟人拟人就是把事物人格化,它既能生动形象地写出某事物的某个特点,又使事物具有拟人化后特有的具象效果。The breeze gently kissed her cheeks.(景物描写)微风轻柔地亲吻着她的脸颊。The feathery snwflakes danced in the night air,making a beautiful picture.(景物描写)鹅毛般的雪花在夜空中飞舞,构成了一幅美丽的图画。Immediately,an abslute darkness ruled the frest.(景物描写)
顷刻间,森林完全被黑暗笼罩。Fear seized/swallwed him.(情感描写)恐惧把他吞噬了。Anger chked my wrds.(情感描写)我气得说不出话来。A gd idea suddenly struck me.(心理描写)我突然想到一个好主意。
跟踪训练(2022山东潍坊高三一模)阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。A GIFT FOR GRANDPASummer vacatin was cming.Jack and his brther Berlin were filled with excitement as they thught f visiting their grandparents again.The big day came at last.After the happy family gt ready,they set ut fr the grandparents’ eagerly.On the way,the brthers were excitedly talking abut the fun they had with grandparents.
A little blue huse with a tall white chimney finally appeared.Behind the prperty(房屋) was the frest carrying their gd memries with Grandpa. They arrived at the driveway,at the end f which Grandma was waiting fr them jyfully.Jack and Berlin each gave Grandma a big hug and then swept t the living rm,shuting excitedly,“Grandpa,we are back!”
Seeing his grandsns,Grandpa was wild with jy and tried t get up with all his strength frm the chair but in vain.A helpless expressin flashed n his face.Grandma explained that his health was declining rapidly and maybe culdn’t stand up n his wn frever.But Grandpa declared stubbrnly(倔强地),“I can!” Certainly,he was stuck in his byish way.Mum and grandparents were happy t meet again after a lng time.They sat tgether and chatted abut what happened recently.
The brthers were sn bred with adult cnversatin,went ut and wandered int the frest.Tall trees stretched up t the heavens with large branches crssing each ther,while yung nes rse straight like sldiers. Grandpa was nce a great explrer full f wisdm.He culd tell where the birds came frm nly by their calls and sngs.The trees,birds,lizards,lts f many merry mments they spent with Grandpa in the frest!But nw Grandpa culdn’t get up.This made them wrried.“We’d think ut a way t cheer him up,” Jack said.“Grandpa is a bird lver,and we can catch him a bird,” Berlin suggested.“But he hates birds being caged!” Jack shk his head.Then a bright idea came t Jack’s mind.“Why nt make a cane (拐杖) ut f a yung tree!”
注意:续写词数应为150左右。Berlin thught it was a gd idea.______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Jack and Berlin handed the cane t Grandpa._____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Berlin thught it was a gd idea.They set abut making a cane fr Grandpa immediately.The mment they chse a yung tree f mderate size, they cut it dwn and then remved the branches and skins with a knife.With a small wd fastened n the tp as a handle,a fashinable cane came int being. T make the handle feel cmfrtable,they wrapped a sft clth arund it.Berlin, full f innvative ideas,carved wrds “Gift T Grandpa” n the cane.What a cl cane!
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